Friday, August 22, 2008

Celebrating Life

Last weekend was a big celebration. It made me richer, along with additions to my ever increasing inventory of clothes and my face has a new pimple (thats liking its place, n refuses to go away) :(( All thanks to the sweets and Cadbury Celebrations Chocolates that have become a mandatory gift on Rakhi ever since the promos on TV.

And a few cuts on my fingers, coz of holding the maanja for kiteflying. Joined my brother and his friends on the terrace. Maine patang udai :) on 15th August after 8 yrs i guess. Didnt care about the sun that would tan me or the lil rain that could spoil my hair. It was madness. It was childish. Shouted when we kaat-oed and bo-ed a kite. I remember, as a kid i have even run after kites and tried to get hold of a kite that was entangled in the TV antenna in my 4th floor balcony. I was too fearless or shall i say i took more risks. I want to be safe now. Dont want to take a risk. Does that reduce my chances of being content and happy?

Running after a 50p kite (back then), now seems like a very stupid thing to do when im earning in tens of thousands. The sense of achievement and joy i got after getting hold of the kite, despite fierce competetion between guys, that often ended in kites being torn is something is hard to get today. Someone said it right, joy lies in the simple things in life. Some things money cant buy. For everything else theres Mastercard. And that too of many banks.

Oprah said on one of her shows 'The more you celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.' Iv decided to celebrate the smallest of the good things that happen to me each day.

Have rewarded myself with a brownie and chocolate sauce, on clearing 5 gruelling rounds of interview for the next project. I still havn't bagged it, but it didnt stop me from celebrating my small success alone. I wish i get through the last interview from London or the other project based in Canada.

Wish me luck! and Cheers to life!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Quarter Life Crisis

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

- Unknown Author

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Language of Love

I am a big fan of the ghazals and sher-o-shayari or maybe im a fan of Urdu. Afterall, having parental roots from the city of nawabs 'lucknow', it was inevitable. A very common joke 'Pehle Aap, Pehle Aap mein gaadi nikal jati hai' tells how graceful Urdu is.

All languages convey a culture but, perhaps, no other language does this better than Urdu. The Punjabi brashness expresses in the crude swear words of its language; French,Italian or Latin can barely convey the depths of arts of the victorian era But Urdu... even the sighs of this beautiful language seem to encompass the courtly graces of Islamic-Indian culture which flourished in Awadh.

Urdu is the language of romance; it is the language of poetry, of diplomacy. I can’t help think that any language could be more poetic. Even a mere asking for introduction is called 'Aapki Taareef?'

When i listen to the ghazals, the longing and depth in the lyrics can anyday beat the mushiest Valentine's Day Card. Urdu is such an intense language - expresses the love,angst,betrayal of an hopeless romantic.

Here are a few couplets from Ghalib -

Dil na umid to nahi, nakam hi to hai,
Lambi hai gam ki shyam magar, shyam hi to hai.

Jis ki awaaz main salwat hoo nigahon main shikan
Aaisee tasveer ke tukde nahi joda karte

Yeh mere aasu jinhe koi pochne wala bhi nahi,
Koi aanchal enhe milta to sitare hote.

Taalim nahi di jaati parindo ko udaano ki,
Woh to khud hi samajh jaate hain oonchaai aasmano ki

Girte hai sahe sawaar hi maidan e jung mein
Wo tilf kya girenge jo ghutno ke bal chale

Saamne hai jo use log bura kehte hain
Jisko dekha hi nahi, usko khuda kehte hain

Poetically yours
Faded Glory