Some Place Else

I've learnt that life has a way for making sure that even though you think you've gotten lost , you are somehow in the place that needs you the most. It sometimes makes me wonder, had I made different choices whenever I did, Would I still be the same person or in the same place.

What if I hadnt gone to the same school?
What if I hadnt studied computer science instead of the BDS thing after Class 12?
What if I had taken up the Infy job that I got as a fresher?
What if I hadnt left my first job?
What if I hadnt joined my current work place?
What if I hadnt met some people in my life?
What if I hadnt been born in this family?

After all this thinking for so long I feel, the choices we make in life are pointless and immaterial, we will still reach the inevitable and predestined.

Its like swimming in a river. No matter what stroke you decide to swim by, there is a bigger force in the picture, the water current that would take you in its own direction.

Keep rowing your boat! Thats all you can do!

Shit Happens

Every once in a while, I have days when I just dont want to talk to anyone but myself.And when I find myself in that mode - all I want to do is pull the sheets back over my head and drift away to someplace where no one knows me.

Today was one such day. Thank god it has ended. Tommorrow will be a new day a new beginning.

Fill me up, buttercup

I think I am down with a mild case of brain network congestion. The brain version, I mean. I don’t think that means anything actually. I think I know. It could mean that my thoughts are off balance and totally mixed up. Thoughts right now have lost their equilibrium.

Life is strangely coming together and falling apart at the same time in ways that I didn’t anticipate. I cannot begin to describe where my life is at right now because I have no idea where it is or where its going. Someone once said, If you dont know where you're going, any road would take you there. I guess that what I am doing. Walking on a some road to nowhere to stand still.Totally surrounded by unknown more than ever. I find that it is easy and convenient to push away certain aspects of it for a bit of time. At least while I try to figure it out.

Maybe I am just too bored or have thought a lot of things that are beyond the functional capacity of my brain. The latter seems to be the case. My head today is just too full of things that equate to nothingness. Its empty yet flooded. The fact is life has filled in properly.

Hum kis gali ja rahe, apna koi thikana nahi
Armanon ki anjuman mein, besud hai apni lagan mein

Sigh!

Building Bridges

There are journeys to places, cities, countries. Then there are journeys of a different kind that involve people. They say sometimes the greatest journey is covering the distance between two people. Thats a timeless and a limitless journey. A neverending trail to set foot on. Strangers become aquaintances. Aquantainces become friends. Friends may become foes. Strangers and friends may become partners. Partners may become estranged. Transformation and Metamorphosis -All on the journey!!

At times, it takes a lifetime to really know people, and even after an eternity you still dont understand them even when they communicate through words. Sometimes, if you are lucky enough, the opposite happens, ie you finding people who understand even the unsaid from the look in the eye. Its a tightrope walk between being yourself and projecting a certain image, letting yourself loose and holding yourself back, percieving and judging others. The beauty is that the person on the otherside is just like you, walking a tightrope too, on the same journey to knowing you. You need to bare it for others to see you and for you to see them. Complexities galore.

Despite all the fallouts from it, being quite friendly and open to people, I have felt, it can take a minutely small insignificant gesture to bridge the gap between two people. A bright smile. A routine sms. A human touch. A tight hug. A funny joke. A warm kiss. A friendly hello. A catchup phone call. A small email. Thats all it may take. Isnt undertaking this journey of knowing people great for what its worth.

And as Joey would say it - How you doin ;)

Blogger's Park

It’s the battle of the heart to find just the right words with which to express itself. That obsessive and compulsive urge to find clarity of what consumes you. It’s the longing of the voice that screams inside of you that constantly fades in the noise of the world around you. Its the desire to be heard and understood.

It’s that moment in which you sit on the computer and the world around you disappears, fading into an insignificant empty nothingness and all that remains are the the dark fears that you confront, and the hopes that you find comfort in.

It's the series of words that are evocative and provocative. Clear and Descriptive. Waiting to be used. Bringing to life, the story of the thoughts.

My epiphany of the day : Just when you think you are finally ready to walk straight, life comes up with a long winded spiral staircase!

Break Even

How many times is it possible to get your heart broken?
And
How many times by the same person ?

Will cry and brood over it and come back with answers if i get any ;)

Its Complicated

Facebook is smart. Really Smart. It has the option of relationship status as 'Its complicated' for people like me. But arent all relationships complicated.

Just that some are very complicated.

There is endless talking. There is sharing. There is care. There is a physical element in some way. There is fun. There is flirtatiousness. There is possessiveness. There is lust. There is liking. There is a connect. There is bonding. There is conflict. There is fun. There is a clash of opinions. There is support. There is a disagreement. There is happiness. There is fighting too. There is sweet nothing talk. There is getting hurt too. There is a spark. And so much more.

Is something missing? There is or it wont be complicated ;) But it anyway will be complicated.

Hope I find the missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle soon!