Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Little Miss Sunshine

Its starting to get cold in delhi, and foggy too. The shortening of days, lack of sunlight, gray skies makes me so lethargic and saps the energy out of me. The winter doldrums hit me hard. Sluggishly i do my chores and feel generally gloomy. A few lingering thoughts in your head too have a bearing on my mood. The harshness and barreness of the winters make me loathesome.

These days im fretting more, getting frustrated, crib and cry a lot without any particular reason. Sometimes for a reason. At times i just want to run as fast and far as i can till my last breath, feeling the cold on the face and finally fall down panting. Why? To stand still. Arent we all running to stand still in our own ways?

Winter Days are so perfect for a melancholy mood, contemplative silence and listening to a few personal fave sound tracks. And funny is the law of nature, winter co-incides with year ending and beginnings. Paranoia and anxiety rules the head. Maybe thats why the very cold nations have christmas to cheer people up with sweets and gifts and gettogethers. Warmth of people around can make you feel safe and comforted.

I need the sun to charge me up like Jadoo from Koi Mil Gaya, yearning for dhoooooooooppp. If the sun takes a day off, i try to brighten up my day by wearing bright(read jattack) colored pullovers or accessories or gorge on chocolate excess. I wore my multicolored muffler today the whole day in an attempt to give my mood some uplifting. It did its job well.

All this is not some piece of my infertile imagination. Not too worry, Im not going mad, there is a scientific term that explains the complexity of my feelings by a simple three word term called SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). SAD is making me SAD.

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